Success in today’s day and age is not what it used to be. Everyone wants immediate results with metrics that can back it up. To really succeed, means you have failed. And to fail is to try. Failure is looked upon as the worst thing imaginable, something you can never come back from. It is why so many individuals bail on something they care about because they did not see immediate results. For some, success IS immediate. They try the first time and everything aligns so perfectly that it all works out. For those of which that is true, a thousand congratulations. That is rare and beautiful. For others, failure is guaranteed. Instead of looking at it as a bad thing, think of it as a learning block. There is so much learning that happens in failure that makes the act of trying so beautiful. If anything, it’s reminiscent of the human condition: of living and being and learning.
As a woman, I feel it is so much harder to try and be successful. It seems as if most of society is praying on your downfall. Hoping for one small misstep to say “see I knew she couldn’t do it.” Of course, this isn’t always the case. It may not be just a woman thing, it could mean nothing for someone and everything to someone else, because that is what life is. Life is nuanced. Personally, I feel I have noticed more of an emphasis on women that if they want to do something, they better do it right the first time. It’s about unlearning that idea and realizing, real success means you have tried. You first had an idea, attempted, learned it wouldn’t work that way, and pivoted to a better, more actualized way in order to ultimately succeed. I believe the beauty of trying, is knowing that you might fail. I’ve recently been seeing more conversation about pop girls and people either saying they are industry plants or just an overnight success. In reality, you look back and realize these women have been staying true to themselves, learning their sound for years, and that they have always been putting in the work. Real success is in connecting with the audience, or your consumer, or your neighbor. Metrics don’t matter as long as someone was impacted.
One of my favorite people I look up to is Olan Rogers. He first started making YouTube videos with his friends under the account Balloonshop when they were in high school. He kept that up and started a following on YouTube where he eventually had his own channel, his own Soda Parlor in Tennessee, and his very own animated TV show. I remember one Christmas I received a second generation iPad as a gift and immediately pulled up Balloonshop videos to watch with my cousins. It has been an honor to watch someone grow and succeed the way that Olan has. I also had the privilege in 2016 of going to the Soda Parlor before a terrible storm took it away.
A video of his that struck me deeply was when he posted about how 2014 was one of the toughest years he ever faced. It was the raw humanity and emotion that made me realize success is not always about numbers, and if you truly care and believe in something, you can make it a reality. One poster I have of his says “every good fight needs a few hits” which I look at every day. He may have failed in his original endeavor but what came out after that was even better than he could have ever imagined. It is upsetting that in 2020 the Soda Parlor could not be rebuilt but since then they have pivoted to make Mondaes, a food truck that will travel around America to give people a taste of something wonderful.
To this day, he is still succeeding. He created and aired a beautiful show called Final Space that originally was on TBS, then Adult Swim, then HBO Max. A show that makes you laugh and cry every episode, that truly had an impact on so many people. I wish Max didn’t write the show off as a tax write off because that story deserved to be fully told. I still can’t believe one decision like that can completely derail meaningful art where he has no rights over work he labored over. Olan continues to pivot and do what he can to make something so meaningful. He inspires me to never give up, and to accept whatever life throws at you. Sometimes things don’t work out how you want them to and that’s okay! Really living and succeeding means you have tried! If you failed it means you attempted and you can grow! Failure isn’t as scary as society makes it out to be.
I also often think about the Harry Styles interview with Zane Lowe where he asks Harry what success means to him. I was at my college gym, working out when the interview dropped and immediately had to listen. While yes, Harry was in One Direction, an incredibly successful band that I will love for all of eternity, breaking off on their own was scary. I think about the behind the scenes documentary for the first album where Harry says, “if I never get to do that on that level again, that’s okay.” When it came to his sophomore album Fine Line, he told Zane he was trying to redefine what success meant to him, and that a friend told him, “if you’re happy doing what you’re doing, then nobody can tell you you’re not successful.” I believe this is such an important theme that I feel we as humans always tend to forget. If you do something you love that is important, then nothing you do is wrong. Especially when it comes to art or artistic endeavors, creating something meaningful will never be wrong. Even if you’re only impacting one person, that is an entire life you just changed, which I think is successful.
We only have this one life. Do what you want (obviously in a positive, caring, empathetic way not in a way that could be harmful to others), be who you want to be. If fear of failure is what is holding you back, just know succeeding is failing and that it is a beautiful thing to try.